so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
