I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize