There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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