That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
