It's just like the Real World with babies
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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