Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize