i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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