i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
