She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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