she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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