I hope mine doesn't look like that
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
