when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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