Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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