sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She's the barista slut.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize