I can't watch pbs sober anymore
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize