remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
