Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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