Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
