Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
