Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
