Having a random hookup so left but love u
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
