You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You're my little dorito
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
