How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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