I must be too annoying 4 u.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
