Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
