I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
