Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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