Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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