Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
