The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
