You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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