He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
