Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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