making cat noises will not fix the situation.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
