Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
