You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
