headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
