I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
