we're blogging at a bar
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
