I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
