have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
