Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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