Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
