okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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