don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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