mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Enjoy the penises
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
