hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
