with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
