I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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