Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
