is your mom at the bar?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
