I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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