it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
