okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
