at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
