it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
