My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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