I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
