at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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