Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
