Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize