i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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