No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Two words: blizzard sex
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
do nipples grow back?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
