Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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