Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
