Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
