what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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