Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
