You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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