I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
