and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
