just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize