Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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