he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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