I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
