oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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