the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
