just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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