last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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